This is coming a little late. I’m not really a blogger, so Cassy has been very gracious to allow me to deface this sacred territory with my post. As I write, I’m in Lewisville, TX as Cassy mentioned. I’ve been gone for too long…although I have been home on the weekends. I have so much to catch up on. I haven’t even described how I felt when I found out that I was going to be a dad. Since the moment that I went from disappointment to elation (at first there was only one pink line on the stick), I’ve been extremely excited and impatient. Just a couple days after we found out I dragged Cassy all over Tulsa to furniture stores, book stores, department stores, and car dealerships looking at baby furniture and bedding, strollers, books, and minivans. I can’t wait for this kid to come out! Cassy is excited too, but until recently, she had mostly been scared and apprehensive. We are so different and such a great match. I know in my head that there will be lots of difficult and trying times, but my heart just keeps pumping excitement through my veins. I can’t wait to rassle, campout in the living room, drink tea, play house, campout, go to recitals, do family devotions, talk about school, memorize verses, learn songs, read bedtime stories, tuck in, buy little dresses, have family time, and a thousand other things. I can’t wait for wife and daughter to greet me when I come home from work everyday!
This brings me to another point. Cassy and I just assumed that we would have a boy first. She openly wanted one, I said I didn’t care. I was just excited to have a kid. However, we both kind of just planned on our first child being a boy. When we found out that we were having a little girl on March 25, 2011, it shook up my reality a little bit. I wasn’t disappointed, just shocked. Yeah, go ahead, think I’m an idiot. That’s fine, because it was pretty dumb. I didn’t realize it until then, but I had just assumed that I was going to have a little boy. I based this on…nothing. The reason? I just assumed that a baby boy and little boys….and teenage boys were easier to deal with and raise than girls. Yeah, experienced parent, I thought that. Cut me some slack, I’m new. So after feeling guilty about what was shock (NOT DISAPPOINTMENT) for a couple days and thinking through what was so not-disappointing, I figured out one of the reasons that I had thought that a boy would be easier than a girl. I was totally mentally prepared to discipline, be stern and firm with, and spank my little boy, but I have no confidence in my ability to punish my sweet little angel of a girl. I know that God will give me grace in the moment (right?), but it was a jolt to my thinking. Also, is it bad that my answer to raising a boy is just beating him?
Cassy’s baby-bump is the cutest thing in my life right now. (The second cutest thing is the onesy that I bought today.) Cassy’s belly gets a little bigger each time that I Face-Time her! Don’t yell at me, she knows that she’s pregnant, and that I love her belly! She said she could visibly see the baby move the other night. I can’t wait to see it! I hate being gone so much. I feel like I’m missing out on so much, but iPhone 4’s Face-Time has made it a little easier because I get to talk to my prebirth baby girl everyday even though I’m in another state.
Really I haven’t done much for this pregnancy. The credit goes to Cassy. Besides providing the egg, uterus, placenta, and belly, she has also done most of the registering, and reading. She even learned to sew! It’s like she’s a robot. This girl can do anything, and look cute doing it the whole time! I am very proud of and thankful for her.
Coming up next: name discussion.
